Though it would not be on my daily, weekly or even monthly watch list, I found it portrayed a message of the common issues at the start of relationships quite well.
I have noticed it to be quite common at the beginning of relationships for people to try to fit another into their own small world, by trying to surround them with a fence so that they could not run or move away. While at the same time, wishing for them to stay free in their own understanding. As if one could rule the other or the other could rule over them. While the characteristics of a real, loving relationship are usually working in cooperative dance to fill all needs which in its own essence serves a better purpose in our Universe in overall.
It is quite odd then to see how baffled people get when the person they have found passion for is naturally changing them. Naturally shifting their traditionally set terms into something different, something more than they had imagined. While this is what I have come to understand real love is about. Not about somebody being our toy or something what we think we want, but being themselves. That is what we also want, whether we understand it with our minds or not. As Christian said in response to Anna saying: "I am not who You want" Christian : "You are all I want".
This is what I really liked about this movie, how well it portrayed the idea of what real love is about. The way the main woman character was willing to get to know the man, even if all about his ideals frightened her. If she had not done this, would he have known or understood so well how she loves him ?
Now apparently, as the end of the movie portrayed, the main male character, Christian, did not really have any belief within him that somebody would ever love him. This is why he tried to keep her and have her to stay only in his terms. He felt he wanted to be with her, wanted to be close, but did not really know how. So he did what he was used to doing, what he knew he could do.
It does not mean that the woman then was willing to stay so well, but at least it helped them to get to know one-another.
I have not read the books and do not know how the story ends really, though it would seem logical that they would end up together at one point. Only the pathway or road to that, can be a bit complicated. Meaning that probably only once the Christian character learns to get to know real love more and more.
I just really found it amazingly well portraying an universal issue of misunderstandings between men and women. Of what it is that people are really searching for in relationships. Is it the feeling of love, fulfillment, joy, or something else ? And is it about the other person, or about the the feeling more than a specific person ? There can be some characteristics of certain people that can help us to get to the space of such feeling within ourselves, but in overall, it is usually more-so our own personal journey, than about the other person. Learning curves of the road we are on. :)
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