Review on Chronicle

   Now I would personally name this movie, a completely, messed up movie of the year - though it is from 2012, but it probably is in my own watched movies list as one of the most messed up ones.

Why so ? 

Well, the story line seemed to catch my attention quite well at the beginning, even though it did seem a bit odd movie for me to watch. A lot of violence, home violence, abuse etc. The first chapters made me feel really sorry, yet happy at the same time on how the main character's life was unfolding. He made some very important steps towards a more positive future, towards a change in his life. It was really highly valued.

Though with any change or uplifting of a person's personal gifts, the points of effect or influence must most certainly not be left unnoticed. In this movie, the main message seemed to have been rolled around the impact that ignorance of very important influence factors that anyone can have in their personal life. That it is not something that only stays in the influence field of the main character, person himself, but also for quite many around him. And the higher he rises, in his status among other people, the bigger his impact will be. This is how life really works. The way we feel, is how we make other people feel.

The movie's scenery seemed quite interesting, in a sense that at the beginning, I was waiting for a miracle. This miracle happened and I was waiting for another miracle, till this also came. Though the third change, shift of events was not a miracle anymore, but rather a downfall. It was somewhat expected, yet not in the extent that I was really hoping or looking for. Who would want to see pain, or other people experience pain so much anyway ?

The only thing I could see through the series of pain in the end, was just how this movie now, portrayed our strange habit of trying to ease pain with running campaigns against it. Which from the natural perspective, happens to work the other way around. You could see it echoing a lot, a lot, through the whole movie here :

The more the main character or anyone there was trying to push against something they did not want to happen, the stronger and stronger this happening they did not want grew and the more harsh effect it had. It became the most evident in the end though, where the friends of the main character tried to have him to stop or understand the consequences of his attitude, behavior. The more they forced against it, the more they tried talking to him, tried to convince him, tried to get him to stop, the stronger his violent impact got. He was not given time, he was not deprived from his father - who was the main point of influence for him to stop him from moving towards the positive results. Which would have been a turning point for positive change, a solution really.

“Problems cannot be solved with the same mind set that created them.” - Albert Einstein

So, the fact that nobody from the team ever payed attention to this simple factor - the point of influence the main character had and rather tried to stop him, instead of trying to deprive this point of influence from him, was that which grew things closer and closer to the end result we can now see in the movie. Something that was quite inevitable this way.

Though I really liked the ending in a sense, even though it was heartbreaking, sad, awfully painful, the very end again, was somewhat of a fresh start, something to represent the birth of something new. Maybe through a very hard pain, but still, the peace was made.

Also, the turnaround, touched quite deeply our innate deep fear button - death. So the way it ended, was somewhat even refreshing, liberating. Can potentially also work for the benefit of seeing death from a bit different perspective, angle. Though the movie did not touch this topic so thoroughly.

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Review on Fifty Shades of Grey

    I found the movie quite intimidating, though interesting and not so bad in its own terms.

Though it would not be on my daily, weekly or even monthly watch list, I found it portrayed a message of the common issues at the start of relationships quite well.

I have noticed it to be quite common at the beginning of relationships for people to try to fit another into their own small world, by trying to surround them with a fence so that they could not run or move away. While at the same time, wishing for them to stay free in their own understanding. As if one could rule the other or the other could rule over them. While the characteristics of a real, loving relationship are usually working in cooperative dance to fill all needs which in its own essence serves a better purpose in our Universe in overall.

It is quite odd then to see how baffled people get when the person they have found passion for is naturally changing them. Naturally shifting their traditionally set terms into something different, something more than they had imagined. While this is what I have come to understand real love is about. Not about somebody being our toy or something what we think we want, but being themselves. That is what we also want, whether we understand it with our minds or not. As Christian said in response to Anna saying: "I am not who You want" Christian : "You are all I want".

This is what I really liked about this movie, how well it portrayed the idea of what real love is about. The way the main woman character was willing to get to know the man, even if all about his ideals frightened her. If she had not done this, would he have known or understood so well how she loves him ?

Now apparently, as the end of the movie portrayed, the main male character, Christian, did not really have any belief within him that somebody would ever love him. This is why he tried to keep her and have her to stay only in his terms. He felt he wanted to be with her, wanted to be close, but did not really know how. So he did what he was used to doing, what he knew he could do.

It does not mean that the woman then was willing to stay so well, but at least it helped them to get to know one-another.

I have not read the books and do not know how the story ends really, though it would seem logical that they would end up together at one point. Only the pathway or road to that, can be a bit complicated. Meaning that probably only once the Christian character learns to get to know real love more and more.

I just really found it amazingly well portraying an universal issue of misunderstandings between men and women. Of what it is that people are really searching for in relationships. Is it the feeling of love, fulfillment, joy, or something else ? And is it about the other person, or about the the feeling more than a specific person ? There can be some characteristics of certain people that can help us to get to the space of such feeling within ourselves, but in overall, it is usually more-so our own personal journey, than about the other person. Learning curves of the road we are on. :)

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How to Crash Hard In Your Relationship with that Special Someone ?

      A little over a year ago, I met a man. He was eager and open to help me out with a charity work I was doing. Though I did not really ask for help, it was nice of him to offer help. Eagerness has quite a high status in my mind. So I accepted his offer, took some time to connect and get to know him better. 

At first sight, I honestly did not like him much. Though as time went by, I discovered tiny bits of his personality traits that I really, really liked and there began my journey of falling in love with him more and more. 

We met for talks quite often, with friends and without. He asked me to try teaching him guitar - he said I had succeeded, while nobody else ever could before. Took a trip with friends to the beautiful island I was born on in Estonia, had a lovely time. We also went to see movies together. One of the best ones we saw was the Fast & Furious movie.

We were both fans of driving, speed (risk in a way) & had high respect for quality in everything we do or give out. 

Though things started boiling over when we got more and more close, my worries began to rise so that I could not hold them back anymore. It was probably because of the way I was expressing myself. That just possibly gave way for his worries to grow and we both ended up in total mistrust, anxiety, anger towards another.

It honestly got quite, quite bad. I got upset with him about his silence, him not responding, not being open to solve any matters or issues that were at hand, he made every possible attempt to block his connections with me. Blocked and unfriended me on social sites etc. Without ever responding to my simple question : What did I do or say that hurt him ? 

When I once received some response from him, the response was something that I could not wrap my mind around and made me even more confused about what was going on. The details he told me lead my mind to start forming some various crazy stories as for the reason why he shut me out so bad. 

Crazy stories started to take root in my head, like : What if he was working for some underground forces, needed to seduce a woman to be sold for human trafficking ? What if he was working for some kind of mafia and the reason he can not talk to me is that it would influence his work and they would kill me and him or smth. 

I even saw a dream once where There was a group of people, coming to visit me to talk. They explained how they had tried and tried so hard to do what they were supposed to do. And in my unwavering curiosity I asked "Why?". They responded : "In order to kill you". And I was like : "Alright". "So how were you planning to do this ?". Believe it or not, but in this dream, I actually gave them advice about why they had not succeeded and recommended to not give up, ending the conversation with laughter. 

Till then one day their boss came to visit me, first sending off a ninja girl to try to fight me. While I was messing around with trying to get rid of this girl, it all seemed like a game. When I was about to give up, just at the last minute, she fell to pieces as if she had been a fragile glass figure made from dark brown glass. I took the broom and shovel to clean up the pieces of glass from the floor. While my mind was wondering : "Was this really the best You could send me or what ? ". 

While I was cleaning, their boss then knocked on my door and stepped in. We had a little chat, I offered him a tea. We were talking about the simple things in life till once a song popped to my head. A song I should have not really known - I very often improvise songs on the spot in real life. In this dream again, I started to sing out of the blue, making up my own song on the spot. It just helped me to stay calm and change the topic and free the mind from nonsensical worries. To my surprise, the boss started singing with me, while almost tearing up he said it was a song from his childhood. Now, I had absolutely no idea how that happened, I thought I had just improvised this song. 

He later offered me a thank You gift, which I was very uncertain whether to accept or not. The dream ended possibly before my final decision, I do not remember much about it. 

Haha, reminds me of an awesome movie I saw lately :

Now, with all my fear and mistrust and worry and doubt whether he was really feeling the same way I was, the situation took on a very strange and weird turn. Also, messing everything up dozen times more than it would have been if I had just known how to try to contact him more effectively right from the start. I still love him and miss him terribly, and wish I would have been able to solve it better that he would not feel offended or be so against of me trying to get in contact with him again. Last time, he sent a letter to a friend of mine who is also a friend of his, asking him to kindly ask me to stop writing to him or he would find a way to get police involved. 

Apparently he has been quite upset, though I have not really understood why he would ask a friend to send a message to me, rather than telling it himself ?

If You do not wish to be on this kind of a boat I explained to You through my whole story, to be cautious and wise enough to never even set Your foot towards a boat like it, I highly encourage You to educate Yourself on the difference between the way men think and see things and the way women do. Even if You are not in a relationship, have never been and do not see anyone in Your future. 

The truth is, we never know when we might pump into somebody whom we fall in love with. It can happen either today, yesterday or tomorrow. You might have even met this person already but simply do not know him so well yet, to be able to tell his potentiality. If we do not already know how to effectively communicate by the time we start communicating more, how to show respect, express ourselves in an honest, yet effective way in order to fulfill the needs of both, the result can turn out to something completely opposite than we could ever expect or wish for.

I spoiled my potentially amazing relationship,

 I do not wish for You or anyone, to spoil theirs Ever ! 

You deserve eternal times better than this !

A song I wish You were singing about Your relationship : 

Rather than a story that I just told You, or the song I started my blog post with. 

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